At the museum, your child pushes down another little kid on her way to the train set. How would you react?
If your child is around 2 years old, give her a chance to learn from the situation, by modeling appropriate behavior. Briefly ask if the other child is OK, then take your child's hand and show him how to enter the scene. You can say for him, "Hi, can we play with the trains together?" OR "Can Timmy play with the blue train when you're done?" Soon they will be playing side by side. Let them go.
If your child is older, say 4 and a half, and already knows the rules of civilized play, but pushes someone down anyway, you can respond in the following way. First, check to see if the other child is OK, and apologize. Take your 4 year-old by your side, and sit with him for a moment. Explain that he will not be allowed to stay in the play area if he pushes. Ask him if he's ready to go back and play.
For recurrent offenders: Take your child to an area where he can push something safely, apart from other kids. Tell him he can get all of the pushing out of his system here, because pillows, for example, don't get hurt when you push them. It's important for you, the parent, to stay cool and aloof when you are doing this. Not punishing. You are just delivering the natural consequences of playing too rough--taking your child away from other children. If this technique doesn't help your child change gears, then pack up and go home.
Other parents respond:
Your kids are constantly getting out of their seats at a restaurant. They are bumping into others, and distracting the diners around your table. What do you do?
If your children do not respond to your directly telling them-- "In a restaurant, we have to sit in our seats and show good manners. Do you think you can do that today?" "If you can't stay in your seat, we will have to leave"--and you've delivered this message about two or three times, then it's time to pack up your food and take everyone home.
Other parents say:
